Time fliest so fast!
wednesday will soon pass and Thank You Allah, along this week everything went well... more possitive than last week 😊😊

Well, today is father's day, based on american calendar. In our calendar, we only have mother's day, and it celebrates every 22 December. To be honest, i'm not kind of person who are able to remember such a special day like birthday, father's day, mother's day, and etc. I just knew that today is father's day from socmed, everyone posted something with caption "happy father's day". Hmm, just wondering, are their papa read their timeline?

Read their timeline, my head suddenly linked to my father's memories. Me and my brother call him "ayah", and one day i'll call my husband with "ayah" - tsshhh, what an important thing to write! 😂😂

Ayah, he passed by last September, 8th 2014. His age at that time is 55 years old. A day before his gone, he texted me bbm and the last sentence he wrote is, "be carefull..!".

Someone told me that, "seseorang akan terasa sangat berharga saat mereka telah tiada...", and it exactly right! I'm able to say this because i felt this after ayah gone.

I miss him. My mother miss him. My brother miss him. We are all miss him.
We never said that we are all miss him, but our silence talk much, our eyes show how much we miss him.

Ayah
Our pray will always with you
Happy Fathers day

and in the end, a serenity is not coming from escaping but from accepting...

A lot of thoughts come and go in my head recently and to be honest it affecting not only my mood but also my focus. I have lot of list of pending jobs due to un-focus concentration. Teett! Got Headache when thought about my pending.. errr

I choosed sleeping, forgetted all thoughts through sleeping! I choosed escaping from the reality and all thoughts just keep flying in my head and whenever i woke up, all of this countinues to haunt me..

It getting worst from time to time and i felt so tired! Really tired! Smiling appears from my face but not coming from my heart. I continues to say i'm okay but in the end i knew that, i just can't continue to lie to my self. Tiring!

And last night, i tried to speak with my self..and from that conversation i knew that accepting is the only one thing that make it better...

Accepting, it easy to say but really hard to do, but nothing better than this..

And now, i'm on the phase of accepting

"Dan bersabarlah dengan ketetapan Tuhanmu, sesungguhnya mereka serang mengamatimu..."