It's been a long time since the last post. I miss so much to write such a random thing but unfortunately, the inspiration (even for such a random thing) was fly away. I was busy with my self and forget about my environment, that's why I lack of inspiration!
Today, I'm starting to write a short story about love and will try to continue it as far as I can. I can't promise my self to finish it early, but I will try to add words everyday.
It hard in the beginning to start writing but I hope the inspiration will come a long and lot of words coming like water in the river goes to the sea.
I hope this story will come to an end and will make my heart easy.
In the end, I write for my self but I do hope that It'll give my dear reader a joy as well.
Happy Sunday
Dini
Today, I'm starting to write a short story about love and will try to continue it as far as I can. I can't promise my self to finish it early, but I will try to add words everyday.
It hard in the beginning to start writing but I hope the inspiration will come a long and lot of words coming like water in the river goes to the sea.
I hope this story will come to an end and will make my heart easy.
In the end, I write for my self but I do hope that It'll give my dear reader a joy as well.
Happy Sunday
Dini
***
Sometimes, I couldn't find a logical
reason to be fallen in love with someone else. It took a minutes to make us feel curious with
somebody else and believe me that a curiosity is the root of the thing called
love. I was not experienced a lot to feel curious with a man, means that I'm
not having a lot of experiences in fall in love. But when it comes to me, it
makes my heartbeat up whenever I see him, even though we are not known each
other. And in the same time it make me feel paralyzed (not literally). I'll be
the dumbest person ever when it strike to me.
I think as we grew up, we will
have a different reaction when we facing something called "love" or
"fall in love". But I just realized that it keep remain the same. I'm
as dumb as I'm in the past. Why? Because I'll just let it go without doing
something real. I have no confident to confess my feeling and tried harder to
keep it silent. I'm too afraid to be hurt so that's why I'm not trying to
start. In fact, hiding it makes me feel more hurt.
My mother once asked me the
reason why I lost confident if we talked about loving someone. She has some
arguments at that time but I have denied it. But today, I just realized that I
can't continue to deny what my mother think about in the past. She was right
that I feel inferior. I felt that I'm not as good as the man I loved and we are
not a good match. I'm not a good match for him. That's what I felt and it keep
repeated until today.
It's so complicated when it all
about love and my inferiority makes it more complicated. It should be as simple
as saying Hi but my inferiority make it so difficult like we will say goodbye.
Gosh! My heart already contain
with regrets and no more space for the same regrets.
What should I do now?
-A Confession 1.1-