Do you love your job, Dini?
To be honest the answer is not really.. hmm ok... I've got frustated with my job recently..

So, why are you still hanging on in the commuter line every morning and come to your office every day? Why don't you submit resignation letter and find or create job you really love?

I'm thinking about it everyday and come up with bad headache.. just be true to my self, shhh...!! I'm a loser who afraid take a risk!

Yesterday is my 5th anniversary being an employee and i'm thinking, when will you stop doing un-really loveble job and be true to self, doing something you love the most? Do you want to continue doing this things 5 years more and in the 10th anniversary you will regret something you never did?

I keep asking to my self about, what is something i love the most and really want to do? I'm already know the answer but i'm too afraid to take a risk and doing what i love..

Ohhh babiee, when will you stop being a loser and be true to yourself ?

Really, i still do not know the answer yet!

Happy Friday
Just be true to your self, din!

Today is my mom's birthday and i plan to go home earlier. Before 5.15 pm ! I said it repeatedly.

But hey, don't expect too much. Our plan is just will be only a plan without execussion.

I have meeting at 4 pm (really forget about this agenda) and this meeting should be attended by my spv, bos, and my college. But unlucky me (not me, unlucky us), my no #1 boss invite 2 regional pics to attend this meeting which means the meeting will be in english. Sh...!!!

I have speak in english!
That's the fact no #1 of me. Why? Speaking in english make me blank and can't think clearly. Speaking in english make me feel like the foolest person in that cirlce. Speaking in english make me breath faster than usual and i'm not comfortable with this. My head work double than usual. Tired huh? Yes!!

After 1 hours have a meeting with unknown people from regional, unlucky me, i can't leave the meeting room since bos #1 asked me to join 2nd round meeting with different team, talking about another topic and to be honest i'm not person in charge in that topic, i'm just helping the team to provide the data. But i don't have power to say "no..!", so i just keep sitting in that hot seat with faces like "save me from this hot seat as soon as possible..!!"

In the 2nd round meeting, i'm doing nothing. Grrr, just hearing people talking and arguing each other. Being in there makes me think about what should you need to do and do not need to do if you being a leader. I will let you know later.

Finnaly, at 6pm that sh...!!  meeting finished and just going home.

Actually, i feel like sometimes we jump into unexpected circle, being a part of unexpected discussion, with unknown people but we don't have any choices than accepting this condition and jump into the circle...

I'm writing in english as part of jump into the circle. Hope this simple practice will help me in the random and absurd conversation like today.

Just remember that
Allah Ga akan menguji hambaNya diluar kemampuan hambaNya

With love
Dini

Something we can't buy is memories...

That's the reason why i love travelling so much, and to be honest my love to travel bring me to join such a voluntery program sponsored by company foundation.

Are you used voluntery program for your hobby? Just for travelling?

Yes, i did!

At first, i was not interested join this programme. Since i felt so tired and bored with the routine, supported by my friends, i applied this programme and lucky me, after being interviewed by HR and compliance team, they decided to send me to the site, for helping topan victims there. Yeay!

To be honest, i didn't prepare something special. Even, i didn't find information about the site, about local people or anything need to be collected for references. I just let it go. Whatever will be, will be. Call me "nekad"? Yes i am!

And God answered my wish.
I came to nowhere.
Met random people and those random people coloured my life, fill another chapter of my life.

I learned about accepting differences from the real situation. I can't speak english properly, i prefer to keep silent and observed people, my another hobby. Observing people there made me realized two thing, "nothing to do than be gratefull with what you have.. and please do not judged people from its cover!"

It's true.
I met new friends and i love just the way they are. The way they be their self. But behind their cover, they are very kind.

I met the victims and they were strong, smily faces made me feel so stupid with what i did lately ..

Accepting what we have, trying to see something from different view, are not easy things to do. But, at least we can give it a try.

And here are my new friends, random people, another chapter of my life..

Minggu, 19 Oktober 2014

I just wanna say that, "after what we have been through, the sky is still blue"..

and i would like to say, Thank You Allah for all the things that He gave to me, every tears, every laugh, every smile... family, friends, and lover

For every lost, remind me that we have nothing after all..

Hal paling menyenangkan dari sebuah perjalanan adalah menemukan ... from the author of journey something (lupa judulnya)

Hari ini saya pergi ke kosan teman yang ada di Pondok Cina, Depok. Seperti biasa ngangkot ya kannn dikarenakan mobil masih terpajang rapi jali di showroom dealer terdekat dan ga ada yang anter *nasip ..

Kepala saya penuh dengan pikiran tentang dia dia dia yang buat dunia jungkir balik dengan segala diamnya itu *deuh curcol dan membuat saya ga ngamatin sekitar. Sampai akhirnya, mata ini tertuju dengan sendirinya ke arah penumpang yang duduk di bangku ulang tahun.

Keduanya tampak normal seperti kebanyakan orang sampai saya menyadari sesuatu mereka berbicara menggunakan bahasa isyarat. Saya duga mereka berdua adalah pasangan suami istri. Pancaran keduanya sangat bahagia, ada cinta yang menyebar dan itu terasa oleh saya. Jujur, membuat dada saya yang sudah sejak siang ingin meledak, beneran meledak. Tes tes, nangis sedikit *duh melow

They love each other
Menerima the best and the worst from their spouse
I see a sincere love in their eyes
They can't speak or maybe hear each other say i love you
But they gesture talk so much

Saya ngiri banget terlebih saat ini ada satu hal yang mengganjal dalam hati.
Hei you, i tried so hard
But you?
Tapi apa daya, saya ga bisa memaksa...
Hanya bisa menerima dengan lapang dada..

Intinya, ga ada hal lain yang bisa saya lakuin saat ini kecuali menerima semua ya dengan penerimaan yang baik

With love
Dini yang mencari akang cakra

Dunia gue sepertinya beneran jungkir balik dengan rasa yang beraneka. Parahnya perubahan rasa yang beraneka ini terjadi dalam waktu yang singkat. Ababil banget bahasa gaulnya mah.

What's wrong with my world?

Ga ada yang salah dengan dunia gue saat ini. Tapi, perubahan yang terjadi di sekeliling, dimana perubahan ini terjadi dalam waktu singkat dan bersamaan membuat syaraf-syaraf hati menjadi lebih sensitif.

Ga tahu apa yang akan terjadi selanjutnya. Kalau ada pilihan untuk melarikan diri maka gue akan pilih untuk itu...

Kadang dibutuhkan waktu untuk sendiri.
Cuma untuk mendengarkan kata hati.
Tanpa pretensi.